Gay Play Toys

I come here too often, to this site I mean. I spend a lot of time on the internet nowadays looking at sex toys, and imagining what the hell I would do with some of these contraptions. I’m not stupid enough to reveal any critical details about myself but I want to make an anonymous confession, at least to feel for a fleeting moment that I set the record straight. Funny choice of words, that is, setting the record straight, because as you may have guessed already, my confession is simply that well, I am gay. I am a closeted gay man, married and living a very quiet life in suburbia with my wife. The kids are grown and out of the house now, but still I can’t imagine after all this time coming out in public and disappointing everyone. God, look at the shame in that last sentence, I won’t erase it though, because it’s really how I feel, skewed and unfair as it may be, I am still today ruled by my own fears, and limited wealth of self acceptance. The world was different though when I was coming up in it. Gay men were hidden away and cloistered from the world, to be gay was to choose exile and I love my town my life. So in place of the love of a man, I have chosen to troll the internet looking at the Johnny Hazard 8” Cock, or the Jeff Stryker Vibrator, imaging what they might be like to slide between my lips, or think what it might be like to watch those two men undulate between my legs with my cock in their mouths. Tonight I am breaking my cherry of sorts, not only by sharing this albeit anonymously, but also by buying my very own realistic dildo. I want to know what it feels like to touch it, I want to see if it makes me feel braver to perhaps finally come out to the world or at the least, share this secret with my wife.